The medication is working

But right now, I'm just trying to get back to normal. There were some habits I got used to when I was trying to overcome the issues that I hope don't become permanent and I can get past and go back to being normal. Funny thing is I can't even remember exactly how normal is. I guess I need to occupy myself and try not to think about it.

Also, there's the worry that everything isn't healed in 6 weeks but everyone in my family (I have two doctors) have told me to just relax and let the medication take effect and do its work. I became such a worrywort and got anxiety attacks and insomnia but I've started sleeping again without medication and trying to get over my anxiety. I guess I won't be totally healed till after the 6 weeks when I get a clean bill of health.

It has made me focus more on health and living a healthier lifestyle since we don't know how long we are on this earth. I'm still upset that a misdiagnosis and unnecessary medication may have caused this (as well as my own callousness) but I'm trying to get over that and instead of dwelling on the past, moving forward and learning from this mistake. I just pray to God that there's no permanent damage and that I will be properly healed. I won't know till the end of June but I'm keeping it in God's hands and hoping for the best.

Thanks for the prayers. I feel I am way too young to have these kind of issues. 

One good thing about this horrible ordeal is I've begun prioritize my life and try to figure out what I really want. There are so many things I've wanted to do in the past but I never went for them or really put myself out there. Instead, I got comfortable in my routine. Now, I think it's time for me to follow my dreams. I am not getting any younger and the least I can do is take a real stab at it. So every cloud has a silver lining. It's time for me to start living and not simply existing in a routine. I have a good job, food on the table and all of that great stuff and it's easy to just get comfortable in that. But all I can do is call on God's assistance as I try to pick up my life again and be that ambitious girl who had her whole life ahead of her like I was back in my teens.

Everyone needs a push in life and perhaps this was mine. Sometimes something good comes out of something bad. I know people who got much better, fulfilling jobs after getting fired. And if they hadn't been fired, they would have stayed  at jobs that didn't make them happy.