I must write this week...

I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.I must write this week. I must write this week. I must write this week.

Life is so much easier with copy and paste. Imagine having to write lines as punishment with a computer. 1000 lines would be no big deal.

Now if only this could count as a chapter in my fic :(

But speaking of which, there's this company called Publish America that claims to be a legit publisher but others would call it a vanity publisher or a scam. They are supposedly highly selective but happened to accept a book that was the same 30 pages copied and pasted over and over. lol.

So I finally started my new fic

My days of finishing a fic in less than two months are long gone. I hope I can be done with this one by the end of the year. And I also can't decide on a title. LOL.

Anyway, I updated the blogspot page. Yay.

Another fic update

 I think I have my next story mostly figured out. I've actually never written a fic with the usual kdrama set up i.e. 4 leads with two love triangles. And I noticed that I never really give my male lead a best friend. LOL. So this is me trying to broaden my horizons... lol.. .even though it's still the same romantic fluff stuff. And of course, the guy will most likely fall first. I once tried to write a story where the girl was chasing after the guy but it felt so unnatural to me so I had to drop it. I guess I just love my heroines being chased... and being pig head.

So far, it's going to be a work place romance. She's 28, the creative director at a company that was recently acquired by another. He's 27 and head of sales at the parent company. He's moved in from the head office. She loves men but doesn't believe in love. His heart got broken by his long time girlfriend. She's got a best friend who's beautiful and always picks the wrong men. He's got a roommate who loves to live a stress free life. Won't say much so I won't spoil it. But my love triangles aren't ever real love triangles and I doubt this will be much different. I think I've got most of the kinks worked out so hopefully, I'll start writing this sometime soon. I hope I finish this one. :D

If I never write it, it won't be the first fic post I written that leads to nothing.

Fic update

If the world is good with me, I should be posting the final chapter of The Honeymoon today. YIPPIE! This will definitely go down as the slowest fic I've ever worked on. But I'm happy that I'm at least completing it since a year ago, it was 90% abandoned as far as I was concerned. But damn, I'm a lazy woman. I've been "meaning" to work on this since Friday but only got around to do anything yesterday. But hopefully, I'll be done with the edits today.  YES!

Having said that, I'm now debating between an original fiction or a Coffee House fanfic. I think I'll write the Original Fiction which will be a rom-com.... since that's all I seem to be able to write.

With just two more chapters of The Honeymoon left...

... I'm beginning to rest easy. And they should be rather short too. It'll feel good to be done with this story. Phew! Lol... and it only took three years (At least there was like a two year-long hiatus which I'm not sure should make me feel good or bad).

Melt Away

This is off her Daydream album.
 

I don't know... Mariah is one of those people that can do no wrong in my eyes. I don't care if she's melting down on television or wearing way too tight clothing - Mariah is Mariah and she gets my support. I think I have all but one or two or her albums. I've never seen her in concert but her albums are definitely some of the most played ones in my collection. And Melt Away is one that's always on repeat.

I'm about to work on the latest chapter of The Honeymoon and needed to clear my head a bit so of course, I'm listening to some Mariah.

---
Hahaha... this was my Lee Jin Soo theme song for episodes 9-10 of Coffee House. Truthfully, there's a Mariah song for every single romantic situation out there.

I'm toying with the idea of a multi-chapter Coffee House fanfic...

... kinda like what I did with My Name Is Kim Sam Soon. The only question is: do I have the time and energy to devote and dedicate to it? The person I was in the Summer of 2006 is different from the person I am in the Fall of 2010. Do I really have it in me to write that much these days? That's the one question on my mind. The plot isn't yet solidified although I do have a general idea of what it will be. Right now I'll say I'm leaning towards it 60/40 but we'll see.

Possible new fic?

Sometime last year, I kicked around this idea of a girl in a love pentagon. It would be girl, three guys: one from match.com, a co-worker, I can't remember who the third would be (I think an ex), and her best friend. Then there was going to be something about her wanting to become a singer and I think getting gigs through her ex. The best friend also helps her professionally... but I can't remember what his job was but I think he was supposed to be a very silly type.

Anyway, since I got sick of writing, I threw that out (especially as I had two unfinished fics lying around). Now that I've decided to finish this other fic... I'm now rethinking the idea. But instead of a love pentagon (lol), how about a love triangle? :D The truth is I don't really have firm love triangles in my stories. I figure a couple can have a lot of drama without adding a third person. However, I think it's nice to at least mention that there are other people attracted to my protagonists. 

And I also noticed certain things about my writing:
I love dance scenes. If it's not a club, it might be dancing in the living room.
I like my characters to have history. Even in Femi's Diary where she met the guy in like chapter 3, the first relationship explored was with her ex and the relationship with the new guy wasn't explored till much later when she met him by chance in another city.
I used to like open endings. But now I've stopped that since I freaking hate open endings myself. I like to write open endings but hate to watch or read open endings. How weird is that? LOL
I like the guy to love first and harder. I tried to make the girl love first once but it was a total FAIL.
In all my stories, the couple doesn't get together till the end of the damn story.

So I've decided to try something different with this story (if I ever write it). It's still going to be romance with humor (like I can write anything different) but instead of the couple getting together at the end, the couple will get together at the beginning. Then another man will show up. And I think for the first time, I will have a real love triangle.

Okay, I am lying. I wrote Consequences in 07 (stopped at 5 chapters to go... must try to finish it) and it had a love triangle involving a girl in a long distance relationship, her boyfriend, and the guy she met in the new country. So that's a story where the girl was already in a relationship. Hmm.. but this one will be different because it won't involve an already established relationship.

Anyway, we'll see if I have the energy to write this. Loads of ideas float in my head but I'm just to lazy to actually do anything about them. lol

P.S. I am most likely going to write a short Coffee House fic simply called "Christmas Eve" :) 

Am I really going to post a new chapter today?

For real? Is that true? Is it possible?

REALLY?

lol... looks that way. Seems that once I was able to lower the sweetness and make it a tad angstier, I had more interest in working on it.

I wrote the first draft of this chapter way back in June. LOL. What is wrong with me and why can't I just enjoy writing sweet scenes? Why must I always have drama? LOL

I'm back to writing again...

... but am I really?

A friend asked me to send her a link to my latest stories. I told her I've barely written anything in the last 3 years. She said, "don't waste it." Lol... waste what?

It was very sweet of her to say but where is this writing taking me? I still enjoy coming up with stories but sitting and writing really feels like a chore.

I do enjoy it while I am writing but actually getting the motivation to start writing is the real killer.

What to do... what to do....

I'd planned on finishing Honeymoon this year since I had people actually bumping up the soompi thread asking me to update. Honeymoon was supposed to be a like a throwaway fic but somehow it seems some people like it and it's actually my most recommended fic on soompi. LOL. I don't get it. Why do they like it?

Of course, I am grateful and honored that they like the story but I wonder what it is about the story they like.

Anyway, now that things are slow at work... especially for this week, I should be writing or doing something productive, right? WRONG!

I need to somehow get cracking on this shit but it just aint happening :(

I already promised a reader that there'll be a new chapter on Friday and it's already partly written (and has been since June) so why can't I just get on with it.

Must write. Must write. Must write.

FIGHTING!

I keep flip-flopping...

Now I feel like I can't bring myself to write. Maybe I should just leave an announcement for my readers?

I'm feeling okay about writing again...

...Phew! I think I'm actually able to write right now but I've decide to hold off till Saturday. I'll try to write two chapters of Consequences and one of Honeymoon over the long weekend. Saturday will be two weeks since I updated Consequences so I'm sure my readers will be wondering what's up since I normally update frequently. But I don't feel like bumping my thread so I'm not making any announcements. I guess I'll just add an apology to the update on Saturday.

I guess by Saturday I'll have a fresh mind and clear head. I still don't love my stories or characters but I can tolerate them long enough to finish the soompi stories. Then no more writing for a while... although I'm thinking of finishing the Mission story. We'll see.

Out of boredom, I went through my old entries and apparently, this has happened before. LOL... I guess it's just a matter of losing my love for writing for a little while. But all's well that ends well, aye?

I've sent over some short stories to be added to an anthology that's getting published (a friend hooked me up). I'm lazy - I should have edited them but since a professional will be doing that, I decided to just send as is. I'm so bad! But anyhoo, I'll see how this goes.

But how can one tell if their story is good? During the writing process, I have absolutely no idea and in all honesty, I think it sucks but years later, when I read a story I no longer feel any connection to (and have forgotten), I generally have a more objective view of it. For example, during my cut and paste, I read some chapters of Femi's Diary and it's pretty funny. hehehe... I can't believe some of the stuff I wrote. For example, the character, Femi, attended a concert and this is one of the comments she made afterwards:

Beyonce is a ho. Camel toe. Enough said.

lol... and the level of swearing is really high. Geez. But damn, that shit needs to be edited. Too many typos and it's quite dialogue-heavy (mainly phone convos).

I have lost the desire to write

I hate my characters.
I hate my plots.
I hate my writing style.
I hate my stories.
I hate the process of writing.
I hate everything I've ever written.
I have half a mind to delete every single thing I've ever written and just call it a day.
I have decided to just take a break and not think about it.
I hope this goes away soon.

Fiction Downloads

For now, this is the only one available for download. I've taken all others off.

Finding A Bride (MNIKSS fanfic)


New rule as of October 16, 2010.
If you want a pdf of WFF, leave a comment. Thanks.

Weird...

For some reason, the later episodes of Coffee Prince are reminding me so much of the later chapters of Wrong Foot First and With One Foot In. Lol... I've been reading those chapters a lot in the past few days and it's almost as if I didn't write them myself... weird.

I think I'm slowly losing my mind.

Thou shalt write a chapter today...

Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today
Thou shalt write a chapter today

If I write (okay, copy and paste) this enough times, will it come true?

Fanfic and feedback

I just got a review for a story I wrote over 3 years ago and for some reason, I am so tickled.

The review was positive although the rewiewer did also provide some constructive criticsm. I guess I am tickled because, of course, she was correct but it was one of my earliest works when I was still trying to figure out how fanfiction worked so I wrote it like it was original fiction. The great thing about fanfiction is you don't have to establish backgrounds and relationships and the lazy part of me really misses that.

2004 was very productive for me in terms of writing. That was the year I discovered fanfiction and pretty much the same year I abandoned it. Not because I got sick of writing, but because I got sick of the show The O.C. and had no interest in writing fanfiction about the characters.

That got me thinking about the impact fanfiction has had on my writing and I must say that a large percentage of what I learned about writing was through fanfiction. Not just the experience of writing a story but also the discussions I had with other fanfic writers on TWoP. Gosh, I really miss being part of the fandom. On a side not, whenever I see TWoP, my mind reads it as PWP. Gosh, I'm so dirty minded.

It's always funny when I get a review for one of those stories because even though it was only three years ago, it feels much longer and it's funny to realize that there are people still reading that stuff. And how do they manage to do so considering all my stories are based on the first season and so much has happened since then? But it might be related to the fact that I wrote about non-canon relationships often starring minor characters in the show.

Which brings me to my My Name Is Kim Sam Soon fanfic that was completed in July 2006. It was simply written out of my love for the show and to give it a more complete ending. At the time, I didn't realize that k-fanfics were mainly about singers (RPF)and when I couldn't find a KSS fanfic to read, I wrote one. I am almost certain I've blogged about this before.

Anyhoo, I do wish there were more kdrama fanfics but most dramas do have endings that can't be stretched much further.

I wish I knew where I was going with this post but I guess it's time to go home, aye?

On the writing front...

... I must say I'm quite pleased with the direction in which my story is going. But gosh, writing can be so tedious. I wish there was an easier way... I should at least be writing a first draft of the next chapter but I'm so not in the mood. I guess I'll just write a more detailed outline.

I googled "Love Triangle" and this is what I got. I wanted a different image, though. One where the girl was the main attraction and not one where she was biting off her competition's foot.



This is one is even less romantic...



lol... go, Samantha :D

So... *cough*

I guess I am writing ONE more story on Soompi...

My current story doesn't have that much drama and I want to write drama.

I am dropping one story so I am writing this one to make up for it.

It will be the first time I write two stories at the same time. I hope I make it!

So I'm maybe about a 1/4 or 1/3-way into my last soompi fic...

... I guess it's a nice feeling to be ending my one year run on the site. I anticipate finishing the story at the end of August. The storyline has been finalized and all that so it's all about getting it all out of my head.

Compared to others, it looks like I'm quite a fast writer. It generally takes me about 2 hours to write and edit a 2000-word chapter. The actual writing of the first draft usually takes less than 30 minutes. Is that fast?

I don't know the point of this post. I guess I'm feeling a bit weird about it all... I mentioned it in my thread and now I get to read comments that make me feel both happy and sad at the same time. Oh well, I'll just accept my fate as a boring writer and move on. And I think I might not finish one of the stories. On one hand, I do want to complete it for the readers who've been left hanging but on the other hand, I don't feel like dealing with the aggravation and insecurity of it all. Plus I'll have to reread it to remember what it's all about. LOL I think I'm pretty much done. We'll see at the end of August.

Writing on soompi did teach me a few things about writing - things I didn't learn from Femi's Diary or my O.C. stuff which is: just because you like what you write doesn't mean others do. lol It's a sad state of affairs... other stories get recommended along with mine, they acquire new readers but I don't :( :) I have to realize it's more with my stories lacking appeal than anything else.

I'm probably one of the least read writers on soompi (someone once referred to someone with my readership level as a failure. Ouch) but I've managed to write quite a bit since I started writing there... I probably wouldn't have spent as much of my time writing as I have in the past year if I didn't post there so I've definitely gained something from writing there.

It of course also made me question my ability to capture an audience and I guess I've decided that I'm just too boring. But it's okay... as long as I can entertain myself and the few people who enjoy my writing, I guess it's okay. I'm quite sure I'll fail miserably if I attempt to be 'interesting.'

Plus it seems that 'cutesy' fics are out (even though I still see many doing well) and 'dark, mature' fics are in. And since I won't be writing the latter, I guess I really have to find my way out. Oh well.... And that's my whine for today.

lol... it's quite funny how much I whine about this. I wonder what I'd be like if this was actually my day job... well, I'd probably be broke. lol